It’s okay TO NOT like your natural hair …. for now!
This sounds controversial, but hear me out.
I am four years into my natural hair journey, and although the journey was the inspiration behind creating BIND London, I will be honest in admitting that I haven’t loved my hair every single day in the four years so far. Social media can make it look like you transition from straight hair to natural hair in one day and then miraculously you just fall in love with your curls. Not only did I have to undo years of heat damage from straighteners, but I also had to undo years of how I mentally and emotionally identified with my hair. That takes time and is not an overnight transition.
Things I didn’t like …
I didn’t like my hair dark.
Didn’t like when my hair would frizz.
Desired my curls to look a certain shape and would get frustrated when it wouldn’t.
Would reduce my training (something I love to do) because I started to dislike sweating and working out with natural hair at the gym. I started taking gym selfies and cropping out my hair.
Compared my curl type to others online and wonder why my hair wasn’t looking like theirs.
This is not an overnight transition, but a journey …
This feels embarrassing and vulnerable to admit that I had this mindset, but if there’s one thing I’m going to do is keep it real for the community. I can be open about it now because I absolutely love my hair now. But I’ll be honest in saying it has taken time, persistence, and not giving up on my natural hair in order for me to get to this stage. I was adamant that I was not going to return to straight hair (being the stubborn Capricorn) and felt so inspired to love my hair after watching Black Panther in the cinema (which was the catalyst that made me transition to my natural hair the day after). Not only that, getting the idea for BIND London five months later, why would I give up on my natural hair? I was determined to make it work.
The reason behind this blog is because you may be at this stage of your hair journey.
You may be considering returning to natural hair.
You’ve newly transitioned.
You’re a more seasoned natural, but struggling to love your hair.
Been natural in the past but it just didn’t work out for you.
It’s okay if you are at a stage where you don’t like your hair. The natural hair police may come at you for admitting it openly. But there are a lot of deep-rooted issues linked to the roots of our hair.
How family members discussed hair in the home.
Beauty standards linked to whiteness.
There is a lot to unpack and unravel on that natural hair journey. So I say that we need to give ourselves, and the rest of the community some grace. Everyone is at different stages of their journey. It is okay if you don’t like your hair currently. The question is, how long are you prepared to stay in this mindset? And what are you going to do to change it?
Are you prepared to stay believing the story you have told yourself about your hair? Or are you going to take control of your narrative in identifying yourself in a more positive light?
If you are the latter, I’m proud of you. Here are some ways that can help you, over time, begin enjoying the process of loving your hair more.
- Look at styles that compliment your hair length and texture. We are spoiled with an abundance of inspiration of beautiful hair of different textures, more so today than there was even four years ago when I transitioned from my straight hair. This will help to provide ideas based on what your hair CAN do, instead of forcing it to do something it can’t do.
- Experience variety in between. Begin to enjoy a few weeks/months of your natural hair, and then switch it up with a protective hair style. If you’re someone who only wears hair in a protective style/weave etc, begin to enjoy a couple of weeks with your hair in its natural state instead of switching styles immediately. It could also be healthy for your hair to have a mini break in between styles and get yourself used to seeing yourself with your own hair.
- Big chop. Just cut it off and start over fam. Be brand new. Literally. There are many benefits of a big chop and your new hair growing. Play around with your style during your big chop if desired. Dye it. Learn how to master a beat face. Big hoop earrings. Create some style around the big chop.
- Work on self. Whether that is personal development, journaling, therapy … do a deeper dive to unpick the issues you have with your hair and (excuse the pun) get to root of the issue. For some, it may not be that deep, but maybe the style you’re currently wearing is acting as a plaster to a deeper wound you need to heal around loving yourself exactly how you are. Hairstyles should be enhancers to how we see our beauty, not replacements.
Was this blog useful? Comment below what inspired you most and share with someone who needs to read this message.
Be kind to yourself. Be your own inspo.
By Kayleigh (Founder)